SexiMexyLexy

2006-12-18T23:27:00.000-08:00

I feel lyk ass today actually I honestly feel incomplete for the first time in my life. I have no control at all over anything anymore. "You want something, go after it, period." But what if, there are many obstacles in the way. Set rules. Set requirements. I cant go after my dreams. I have no chance of doing what I want to do most in my life. To succeed in my biggest dream ever. My path, my love, my joy, my fantasy. I believe that we should try new things for ourselves, to satisfy our wants not necessarily our needs but our WANTS. My desire to become that person I see in my head. How can I succeed. How can I become that person. How can I do this. How can I make it in life. I KNOW FOR A FACT...I will never feel complete if I never achieve my dreams. I dont want to face life and its cruelty anymore but I have no choice.
In my heart, my soul, my palms, my fingertips, my toes, to the very core of my blood... I know this is what im meant to do, its who im meant to be. You can be anything you want to be, I have that soul for it.That dream. I need it. I crave it more than anything.
Oh lord I pray, you have put me through so much in life and I have done more than I could ever even imagine, you gave me such oppurtunities that other people would die for, you gave the brains, personality and looks. I am soo thankful to you..all I need is ur guidance to achieve it.
Do you believe in me GOD, because I do, put me there and then, infront of that camera, and you know how well I would shine, how far I can push all my abilities with such naturality. Why are there requirements in my way, measures I cannot defeat. Is this fair GOD that I am put through all of this. Every other girl may want this, but I know I want it more than them because I am still looking and finding for that one chance to show the world that I have what it takes...no need to prove it, they all can see it.
Is this for real, all I want is a chance because GOD u know that even you can see me on there. I can too.
I love you.

Diary of Nicole Gordon

2006-11-23T21:10:00.000-08:00

I can make it nice and naughty,

be the devil and angel too,

Got a heart and soul and body,

Lets see what this love can do,

Baby i'm perfect for you.

2006-10-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

differences
GINUWINE

God has blessed me baby God was good to me when he sent you I'm so happy I'm so happy baby.. oh yes I am Share my world ,Come and share my world baby, I'm so in love I'm so in love, I'm addicted to your love baby. My whole life has changed since you came in, I knew back then..You were that special one..I'm so in love, so deep in love..You made my life complete..You are so sweet, no one competes..Glad you came into my life..You blind me with your love, with you I have no sight

2006-10-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

The story of sexiimexylexy Nicole..

My parents are effin my brains up..but now things are settled..sorta..i have never been in this position in my life..i just feel lyk just runnin away and never coming home..i hope my mom is telling the truth from the heart. i really do. i just talked to triff, angel and immy and said hey to eix.lol. soo yeah triff understands she made me feel alot better, angel just brought back memories of our phuket trip was was amazing and immy couldnt really talk to me i guess. soo yeah triff made me feel soo much better..

Now im sitting infront of the computer and listening to All 4 Ones -I Swear..it is my favorite old school song ever!!!!! I wish I was down there right now, in Malaysia.sooo bad..I just wanna be with everyone..I just wanna be there more than anything right now. I have never hated home as much as I do now..its sooo hard..I had the perfect princess life ever..and now im lyk cinderella waiting to be rescued.

I think imma drop AL Language and join Honors A.L ...im not sure. fuck it! i think I will..less stress...easy A...and I can get a 4.3 gpa instead of a 4.0 ..

I love this song I swear..everyone listen to it. by All 4 One.

I cant wait for the party tomorrow but in my condition I think I will just sleep in and just eat ...my parents are still at it again now...right here in the damn hall..where im at. fuck it.
I cant wait till the 15th of december..i'll be "Livin every moment like its my last, I'll be cherishing every moment, and lovin my chances and oppurtunities."

2006-10-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

Suga Suga-Baby Bash
This is the sooong!

My parents are driving me up the wall! THEY ARE SERIOUSLY HORRID! and I have to be in the middle of this..the pressure and the stress.fuck it.
thank god tho im goin to malaysia on the 15th of dec- to the 3rd of dec..3 weeks.
yay..imma see my gurlss and immy baby! yay!..he doesnt kno wuts in store for him.:) for my homegurls..i think they deserve a lil victorias secret!! that would be a hawt gift! omg actually i have a very special gift..it just came to mine.hahah.wow..damn that gift..cant wait for it!

SOOO yeah U MAKE ME SMILE U! u kno who u are. missin ya while ur gettin laid in malacca..

2006-10-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

Baby u got the keys to mah bakery!
Now its gonna take some workin but I believe youre worth itLong as your intentions are good there is just one way to show it and boy I hope you know it that no one could love you like I could. It brings me joy to just hear ur voice, just hear u say u miss me, just talking to u makes me alive. I havent felt this way in the longest time, u took me out of the dark with all the troubles im goin thru, I have deeper problems than what u think but just talkign to u makes me feel lyk I always have someone there, someone to talk too, someone that I can adore, someone that I can love, its what makes u happy baby, im here for you, I just wanna make u happy, I just want u to kno how special u are to me, all I want is ur happiness. I cant wait to be with u, just see u again, wow, i really cant wait, it will be amazing cuz u are, i see something soo special in you but i kno ur worth it, I just hope that after time baby, u will want me as much as I want u and there will be more between us.

2006-10-24T16:44:00.000-07:00

I cant stop thinking about him, I just can't get him out of my mind.Its hard. I dont know how to explain the feelings I have for him. Its just there. Im so afraid to get hurt, my ex- hurt me soo bad I cant even repeat it. I just want a man to keep it real with me. I feel for him alot, I really do..I can say that I have fallen for him hard, I am sorta whatchu can say inlove wit him..and im not crazy. I have met him and we have hung out..I have always liked him but at that time I was inlove with my ex- but now I c soo much more in him. I wanna be given a chance to be with him. I just dont know how he feels about me at all. Would he want to give me a chance? How does he feel?
I kno that guys always think that I would end up cheatin on them just because soo many guys like me and want me but im not lyk that whatsoever..when I want someone I give them my all..I'll give them my all and be honest. I wouldnt hurt the one I want. I just cant stop thinking about him , no matter what I do, I imagine how it would be lyk to be his gurl. his main gurl. wow. How can I tell him how I feel, honestly, how would he ever know, how I feel. Would he believe me, trust that I do lyk him and I really do want a chance with him? I go the distance, Im not one of those gurls that are full of bullshit! who dont give people chances. In the end, I do feel for him and he is special.

2006-10-13T15:18:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA JUST WHEN I WANTED SOMETHING/LOL.THIS FUCKED ITUP!

Daily Single's Love
October 13, 2006

The stars urge you to take a time out on the dating game while you deal with other personal matters. There are some old issues that need dealing with before you're ready to move to the next phase of your life.

Triffany Linda Leo!

2006-10-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

TRIFFANY LINDA LEO!

Triff, haha omg I love our everyday convo's their hawt as fuck! U kno wut tatha! i love u loads and miss u lyk crazy~! well i want u too know one thing!!!!

My Boy Lollipop!

Lol I dont kno wut that signifies.Lol.

I was just listening to it.

So tathaasshole..u kno the GAME! hahaha

Ready Boyz.

Triff is gunna lick ur asses hahaha no jk.

REMEmBER haha good memories.

I cant blive u told them about draco baby!

SO YES

IM GUNNA BE PRINCESS JASMINE FOR HALLOWEEN.

OR A PLAYGIRL

I HAVENT DECIDED HELP!

oMG soo ur calling me today right?

I want to BE A FAIRYTOPHIA BARBIE TOO.

im not sure.

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE TIMES!

2 BECOME 1

OMG IM LISTENING TO THAT CD..U SHOULD KNO WHICH ONE.

EVERYGIRL KNOWS.

So yeah FORTUNE TELLER! YES DECEMBER BABY!

LET ME PREDICT URS

*triffany is gunna marry an old frenchy become a citizen of France..pretend she is fluent in French and have four kids...3 girls 1 boys and she would give them Alize to knock them out when they are crying. She will calling her buttler to attend to all Foreign people at her three floor flat. Its view will be opposite the bridge.

She will be out drinking and buying banana pancakes outside everynight.

She will own the Chinesse Dragon house down the street while her husband owns an illegal joint.

Her children will be named, Nicole, Tatha, Jose, Tara.

She will ALSO BE IN THE BAHAMAS WITH NICOLE NEXT YEAR JULY.

Lol..eww what names I gave ofcourse except Nicole and Tatha are juicy!

Lol.Thats my prediction.

I LOVE U TATHA!

Who Do You Think You Are?

2006-10-11T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ur gunna lyk it there and all the things that I do,

Everything u want, u will find in me,

If u play my game, I wanna make u holler,

Imagine us together, drivin u insane,

U will give into me, I'll give u clues,

Show me boy, cuz nothing comes for free.

TRIFINICLE

2006-10-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

R.I.P TRIFINICLE 10/10/06.
ME AND TRIFFANY LOVE U!
WE WILL ALWAYS BE THINKING OF YOU.

WOW OMG!

2006-10-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

u kno how us gurls always have that one gurl that were lyk damn right?
i wish i looked lyk her..
OMG ALRIGHT I USUALLY AM NOT FOND OF WHITE GURLS WHATSOEVER BCUZ I THINK THEY LOOK THE SAME BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME I KNOW THIS WHITE GURL THAT I JUST AM LYK OMG UR SOOO PRETTY!!! SHE IS!!!! imtelling u ! and she isnt typical..LOL..well yea anyways u must be wondering soo WTF?right...NOTHING ITS JUST THAT I WAS SOO FASCINATED U USUALLY NVR SEE WHITE GURLS LOOKING LYK HER THATS WHY! BUT WELL she only looks good with the fake tan but her refular self kinda really does loook typical..but oh well..its fascinating

anyways TRIFFANY I LOVE U
kmart boy ..hahaha...has a new hairstyle ! thatshawt

OMG Diwali Riddim

2006-10-08T20:25:00.000-07:00

diwali riddim...shiit! i am gettin a custom made sari! omg my aunt is gettin it all i kno is that i want gold sequence..ahhhhh im soooo excited..ofcourse i would look lyk a hawt piece of karepi..but thats juicy! FIND SUM HAWT INDIAN ASS AT THE PARTY!hahahahah love it

WHY HAVE SPAGHETTI BOYS WHEN U CAN HAVE CURRY BOYZ.
lol.

FLavor of Love!!!!

2006-10-08T17:15:00.000-07:00

New York *crosses fingers* i hope she wins.

The Girls next door.

2006-10-08T17:07:00.000-07:00

Im just lyk holly...but I do love bridget and kendra too! today NEW EPISODE..IM SOO EXCITED OMG! soo yeah anyways kaitlen says i have a white fetish no i dont.. JUST BCUZ I WANT TO BE A PLAYGIRL LIKE JORDAN AND LISA MARIE SCOTT.and im obsessed with playboy..noooo im not totally obsessed..I just think that JOrdan is cool and she married my suppose to be husband peter andre anyways..and LISA is asian and shes foine and she made it.and i just love the show thats all!i wanna be a broadcast journalist..i wanna be on mtv and LOL...THE COVER OF PLAYBOY YEAR _________ LOL BUT IM not obssessed...BUT IT WILL DEPEND ON MY FUTURE TOO..IT NEEDS TO BE A GOOD CAREER CHANGE AND I DONT REALLY WANT THE WORLD SEEING ME NAKED..EITHER...but classy and sexy is different from slutty and cheap...and playboy is classy and sexy..or maybe im just on crack!

The Majestic

2006-10-08T17:00:00.000-07:00

I think I wanna be a bunny for halloween this year..seriously I do.!thats what imma do..but how can i get an outfit without my parents flippin' ..
I WANNA BE A BUNNY JUST LYK MY BUNNY IDOL...LISA MARIE SCOTT AND BRIDGET MARDQUET. yay!.

BUT SEXY NOT SLUTTY..THERES A DIFFERENCE..U GOTTA KEEP THE CLASS..AND KEEP THE HANDS OFF.

BUNNY IT IS OR MAYBE ILL BE POCAHONTAS.hmm.

Raggaeton Rapper!

2006-10-08T16:54:00.000-07:00

I think im gunna be the next ivy queen...raggaeton rapper..thats hawt! im juicy and imma rap..

papi no te crea que contigo va bailar, la noche es buena pa mujeres disfrutar, let me know nina sky ivy, queen si tu quiere te lo canto en reggaeton no permitas que pierdas el control dejamelo ami a ti te gusta cuando bailo, cuando lo canto, oye mi coro hoy te quedas solo papi, entra al pari baby, quiero bailar, la noche es de mujeres y se hizo pa gozar

yall can buy my album its gunna be called... Boricua.
thast hawt!
haha

What a sad day for everyone?

2006-10-08T16:44:00.000-07:00

Kaitlen poor Kaitlen..her man be acting a fool...he is full of talk and no action..so it ruined her night but then everything was better and today its still rocky..a lil'.
danni jay and triffany broke up today and its sad..he was soo inlove and i thot he could have held on.Love to me is when people are given chances..decisions are made together..the heart is only eager to love..but something made me realise today sometimes women are stronger and sometimes men just stop when they feel they cant take it anymore and make their decisions then and there.
I ofcourse love them both danni being my cousin and triff one of my best friends..but u kno in the end..im always here to support both of them with their decisions...no matter what.
So yeah anyways Hafiz didnt get the sports car he wanted..someone took it last night and he didnt know until he went to the dealership...now he has anew car..but its sad he wanted that sports.
I wasnt sad today until I watched this show about this british man and his indian lover...when he had a british wife already but he was cheating wit this gorgoues hot indian chick who was younger than him by lyk 10 yrs tho..yea but it was a sad movie..its called cotton mary.

I WATCHED TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE THE BEGINNING...SCARY SHIT
GRUDGE 2 AND SAW 3 IS COMING OUT.yay!

When I was at the movies..I was sad too bcuz it brought sum memories back..and it seemed lyk it was just yesterday..

soooo-o-o-o- HALLOWEEN PARTY COMING UP AND KNOTTS SCARY FARM! HELLZ YEA

Endless Love

2006-10-08T14:13:00.000-07:00

Endless Love Two hearts that beat as one, the journey has just begun.Baby trust forever..whoever u are out there that will be the one for me out there somewhere.I want u to know..that whenever ur sad or down or just cant take it anymore..kno that in ur future baby...ull find in me ur endless love.I dont kno who u are, where ur at, but all I know is that I cant wait to meet u and when I do.. I will kno its true. My first love u showed me the door in my life that I had to walk through..Ur everything ive ever wanted. I want to share all my love with you. No one else will do.
My friends the best friends I can ever have..the gurls I live for and cant live without..those that have me wrapped around their fingers..My cousins that I cherish and love more than any other. My family that will always have my everlasting love. Myself...I can handle myself..AND I mean the world to me.
Dont wait till its too late and its true u never know what uve lost until its too late. trust once its gone..only u will regret..dont think that the ones u love or the ones that love u will be around forever..they could leave u tomorrow..so cherish and appreciate..dont ever take advantage..ull be at loss. So the moral is Love those now when u have a chance b4 ITS too Damn Late!

Eix Production

2006-10-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

Eix Production Video Eix productions video:-
DSV CREW ( france and corsica)
its funny and hawt view it biatche! and this is ur time to get to kno the soon to be famous film director eix. sooo watch his video and leave comments and he can read it on mine too.
REVIEWS:-"A+, I enjoyed every part of that video, it was real funny, and i loved the spankin'," leann.
"DEFINATELY A HAWT PIECE OF ASS VIDEO," kaitlen.
http://s100.photobucket.com/albums/m25/eidrix/?action=view&c
"haha i like how they r spanking him," - candice
sooo yesss enjoy watchin this pg-13 video..lol..its hawt!
BTW IM THE FIRST VIEWER OF THIS VIDEO..I FEEL SPECIAL...THATS HAWT!
-Nic ...eixx after all this promoting..u need

BabyLove

2006-10-08T14:10:00.000-07:00

Altho he has let me go..and I have to move on...I still have to express my feelings.
My babylove has decided that he didnt want me anymore and it tore me apart. Too me he still is the biggest sweetheart, bcuz everyone has faults but the person that he is when he was with me was amazing..he would nvr let me down, he was always full of love for me, and it made me happy just to hear him say he loves me...or even when he looked at me. I remember just last week, he wanted to be with me forever now he wants to be single forever.wow.well I cant stop him, I realised that u can still love someone without being with them. But he decide to dump me, soo-o-o i think to myself what about next time..when im down there,..and it will be sooo different because he would be there and my feelings will be even stronger.

I thot he loved me and I felt it and I think somewhere inside he still does. or maybe he really didnt even love me and said those things just to say it..but its just soo cute when he would just say I love u to me over the phone...and it felt great..but I guess he doesnt really feel that way anymore bcuz to me if I love someone against all odds...I will love them, it doesnt matter how far u are, what u are doin or anything.

It gives me butterflies to talk to him bcuz he is soo damn special to me..esp the letter he wrote me..but then the way he dump me showed that maybe he didnt really care.well atleast i feel that he did but really i dont kno how he feels now.

I kno that hes sooo far away but when I come down I would give him my world, I would pamper him like no other, and adore hm and love him..but he choose to forget it all after two weeks and it was something i wish nvr happened.

But I guess now I can only love him without him knowing,and I cant tell him how special he is anymore.But no doubt I feel everything for him .
All I have now is memories..of when he first asked me out on the phone in cats place, told me he loved me, held my hands on my first day in malaysia and i was scared to cross the road and he gave me his hand, the first time ive done something.lol. our rides,talks and everything..I miss it soo much and I wish that he could have just held on...I know its long but I could give everything and altho there are other girls out there..theres only one me and more of me that I could have given.
I just WISH THAT ONE DAY! HE would want TO GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY. I'll be here...I cant wait forever..but I kno that i can have any other guy..but i want him. I just dont understand how everything can change in two weeks..all I KNO is that even tho hes soo far..I looked forward to every moment I talk to him whether in the morning or online..just knowing he loved me was everything to me.
so i guess sometimes i will just have to keep it inside of me. it just breaks my heart that from loving me he went to liking me.. but i still love him anyways and maybe just maybe he just needs his space for now..all i can do is hope that maybe he might wanna give it another try in the future.....im still up for it anytime bcuz he is special...as for now were good friends..
so i stopped crying and learnt that u know wut..i need to concentrate on me right now and he needs to concentrate on him..so ill give him his space and ill handle my bussiness....
lol i just wish he could have broke it to me in a nicer way. and bsides if he really doesnt want me and i was just a fling which i dont think and im sure and kno he isnt like that or if its another gurl.... guys over here are frontin' for me and there aint no other like me baby!

so now ill just concentrate on my modeling, studies and future career..and my about to get new car and my bellydancing and modeling .lol...i will be the next lisa maria scott, alina vacariu, aline nakashima, or even better like my idol alessandra ambrosio...and i kno is that the future is bright for me and im looking forward to it..damn straight..videomodel too. lol.so no sobbing..if hes happy, im happy.Nicole-

Annette

2006-10-08T14:05:00.000-07:00

Annette sweetheart thank you soo damn much! I really appreciate it. and Kimmie too for trying but I cant get a hold of kimmie.I cant type in her chatter box.but if u see this kimmie can u pls help me do a chatter box.thank you so much.I love MY BLOGGER! ITS SOOO BOMB!. annette ur soo bomb! love u baby girl..and thanxs for listening to me when I needed u.
Love nic

<3's u

2006-10-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

annette was here!!! =p

and she loves Nicole! <3